POLITICAL SATIRE: Conversation between Col. Dasuki & Dame Patience Jonathan -By Orok Duke

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Orok Duke|10 December 2015|4:53am

Dasuki: Grin Grin Grin (phone rings)

Patience Jonathan: Hello, nah who be dat?

Dasuki: Your Excellency Sir, good morning.

Patience Jonathan: No be Oga dey talk, na me dey talk, Dame.

Dasuki: Sorry Ma, good morning Ma. Na Dasuki dey call Ma.

Patience Jonathan: Ehn, Morring. Wetin you want?

Dasuki: Dem don arrest me.

Patience Jonathan: Wetin you do?

Dasuki: Dem say I steal $2.1B money meant for ammunition for our soldiers.

Patience Jonathan: Na true?

Dasuki: em em em, I am…

Patience Jonathan: kip kwayeti, na only you waka come.

Dasuki: No be only me o. Dokpesi dey o.

Patience Jonathan: Shey dat AIT man? Wetin him do again?

Dasuki: Him sef get N2.1B from the money.

Patience Jonathan: God catch am!

Dasuki: Bafarawa sef dey here o
Patient Jonathan: Ah ha, Batagata gini? who be dat? wetin him do?

Dasuki: na our Chief Imam o. na him collect N4.2B to take organise all the imams for nijiria wey pray
for Oga for second term o.

Patience Jonathan: Shey we win? no be fake prayer dem do?

Dasuki: a no know Ma.

Patience Jonathan: Issorait. shey na all of una dem don carry?

Dasuki: no o, na only three of us.

Patience Jonathan: Three of una, Oritsejafor nko?

Dasuki: Dem never arrest am.

Patience Jonathan: Wat of my father-in-law, Edwin Clarke?

Dasuki: Dem never catch am Ma.

Patience Jonathan: Orubebe nko?

Dasuki: E no dey with us but him don face different trial.

Patience Jonathan: uhm, uhm dis man nko? Okpepe
abi wetin dem call am?

Dasuki: Okupe Ma. Him never join us.

Patience Jonathan: E good like dat. Na so una deceive my husband. God don catch una. My husband no dey o. No call this number again o.
(Gbam, phone drop).

Patience Jonathan: (Sitting and thinking), eewo! eewo!!! eewo!!! dis people don kill Nijiria o. Ah, Dia
ris God o. Dia ris God o.

Orok Duke
Is a Poet, Writer, Legal Practitioner & Politician